Today was a really positive, awesome day!
Both of my laptops are in the shop (don't ask), so I've been using G's old one. It's not a bad machine - just larger than what I'm used to. I love my little netbook. Anyway, I can't get either (yes, we have two) web cam to work with his computer. The kids and I ventured out to the PX this morning to get a new web cam. Afterwards, we hit up "Starbucks park." Mommy had her caffeine fix, the kids had organic chocolate milk (I can erase the "naughty" of the chocolate with the "healthy" organic, right?), everyone had a treat, and we headed out to the playground.
It was PACKED. Perfect weather today - sunny, no clouds, about 60 degrees. Perfect for pants, long-sleeves, and playtime. We had an 11 o'clock date with G, so we had to scoot home after only 30 minutes of playing. Bubba made me laugh when he started running on the perimeter path shouting "Look Mommy, I running like you!"
We got to see G, but the generator went out about 6 minutes into our conversation. We had to finish up on the phone, but at least the web cam is working! The other (old) two are going straight into the trash...
Before we were done on the phone, Bubba was begging to go back to the park. I suggested he go out back and play on the swing set with Sissy while I finished talking to Daddy. They were so excited to run around the back yard - I bet they each did 2 laps before playing. Bubba climbed right up into the playhouse and went down the slide. Not to be outdone or left behind, Sissy started trying to climb. She's much younger than Bubba was when he started climbing, but she made it all the way to the top without any help! It was such a proud mommy moment, and G got to share it with me while I gave him the play-by-play. Yay! A milestone that Daddy didn't miss!!
After the phone call, the kids and I played outside. It was too beautiful a day to be cooped up indoors. I taught Bubba how to catch a football, then stood there throwing and catching with him until he wanted to do the slide again. The kids took turns going down the slide and spinning with mommy - VERY fun, a good workout, and full of giggles when even Mommy couldn't stand up after spinning.
Quick lunch and nap for the kids led to more outside time when they woke up. Sissy zoomed right up the ladder to the playhouse while Bubba "mowed" the lawn and found a popped soccer ball in the bushes. I got to talk with W for an hour while she drove home and got settled after work. I can't believe we'd gone so long without a phone call. Staying with her for 6 weeks earlier this year spoiled me. I'm used to having her company!
During the kid's dinner time, I tried to put some things away - paperwork that needed to be shredded, piles of junk on my dresser, etc. It was all in effort to find the lost Netflix (I've been looking for it for days) and I found it! It was in a box of miscellaneous junk I'd swept off the table the last time I hosted some of the Army wives for dinner. I had to call W back to tell her about it and spent another hour talking to her while the kids played inside and I continued cleaning. I get my best cleaning done while I'm talking on the phone...
Somewhere in there, I also loaded and ran the dishwasher, folded 2 loads of laundry, put away a full basket of clean clothes, prepped for the errands Sissy and I will knock out while Bubba is at school...Oh! And I got a response from the Humane Society here. I can get vouchers for the kitten's spay/neuter at a reduced price, so I may be able to fix/de-claw the kitten's for under $250.
I just love productive days!
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Putting It In Perspective
A young soldier in G's unit was killed by an IED - the first soldier for our unit. Please take a moment of silence to pray for this soldier and his family before you go to sleep tonight.
I've had gripes the last couple days. Feeling sorry for myself a bit and getting very frustrated with Bubba and Sissy. When I put my gripes in perspective with this fallen soldier's widow and son, I feel shallow.
I could have easily avoided the gripes and frustration, too. I could have chosen my mood differently.
When spouses are "left behind" during a deployment to take care of everyday things - house, lawn, vehicles, homework, errands, etc - we have to choose how to behave. We are the first model our children see and have to choose our mood carefully. I try hard to be positive each day. If there's cruddy phone reception or the web cam isn't able to work, it's okay. I know my soldier tried to call me, loves and misses us, and wishes he could be here every second that he's there. If there's a blackout, it's okay. No one is knocking on my door to notify me of wounds or death, so it needs to be "business as usual" with the kids. If the car's check engine light stays on for a year, it's okay. It still runs and the mechanic has assured us that the car is safe to drive.
Staying in bed, hiding from everything will do little but make your children act out for your attention. Staying cooped up in the house, afraid to miss a call or notification will do little but drive you completely batty from staring at the same four walls all day. Keeping a routine - working out, school, meals, baths, etc - will all help make the days go by faster and smoother.
Is it hard? Absolutely. It's hard to be a soloist when you're used to being a duet. You're missing the instrument that makes you sound, perform and feel your best. It's easy to think you're alone and that you have no one to hold your hand through this difficult deployment. In reality, reaching out to the other spouses will make you feel like you have family nearby. They become the friends, sisters and brothers, babysitters, meal sharers. They know exactly what you're going through and have the same issues with parenting and feeling alone. These women and men will become exercise partners, dinner swappers, childcare traders, and deal finders. They'll become your chosen family for life because we're surviving this together and it's creating a bond and support system.
For you non-military supporters - you're just as important. Visits, play dates, dinners & drinks all help give us milspouses something to look forward to. I call them mini goals. If I look at deployment as a whole, I get overwhelmed. When I break it up into chunks or have an event or trip or visitor planned, it seems like it flies by. If my Army wives are my support system, non-military folks give me a change of pace (and topic!). It's even more fun when friends are both.
Tonight, I am choosing to thank my Army wives for their support. I am choosing to thank my family and friends back home for their open invitations and arms when I'm in their towns. I am choosing to feel connected to my husband. I am choosing to cuddle my children and watch a movie that makes us laugh.
I am choosing the behavior that makes this deployment more comfortable for everyone.
I've had gripes the last couple days. Feeling sorry for myself a bit and getting very frustrated with Bubba and Sissy. When I put my gripes in perspective with this fallen soldier's widow and son, I feel shallow.
I could have easily avoided the gripes and frustration, too. I could have chosen my mood differently.
When spouses are "left behind" during a deployment to take care of everyday things - house, lawn, vehicles, homework, errands, etc - we have to choose how to behave. We are the first model our children see and have to choose our mood carefully. I try hard to be positive each day. If there's cruddy phone reception or the web cam isn't able to work, it's okay. I know my soldier tried to call me, loves and misses us, and wishes he could be here every second that he's there. If there's a blackout, it's okay. No one is knocking on my door to notify me of wounds or death, so it needs to be "business as usual" with the kids. If the car's check engine light stays on for a year, it's okay. It still runs and the mechanic has assured us that the car is safe to drive.
Staying in bed, hiding from everything will do little but make your children act out for your attention. Staying cooped up in the house, afraid to miss a call or notification will do little but drive you completely batty from staring at the same four walls all day. Keeping a routine - working out, school, meals, baths, etc - will all help make the days go by faster and smoother.
Is it hard? Absolutely. It's hard to be a soloist when you're used to being a duet. You're missing the instrument that makes you sound, perform and feel your best. It's easy to think you're alone and that you have no one to hold your hand through this difficult deployment. In reality, reaching out to the other spouses will make you feel like you have family nearby. They become the friends, sisters and brothers, babysitters, meal sharers. They know exactly what you're going through and have the same issues with parenting and feeling alone. These women and men will become exercise partners, dinner swappers, childcare traders, and deal finders. They'll become your chosen family for life because we're surviving this together and it's creating a bond and support system.
For you non-military supporters - you're just as important. Visits, play dates, dinners & drinks all help give us milspouses something to look forward to. I call them mini goals. If I look at deployment as a whole, I get overwhelmed. When I break it up into chunks or have an event or trip or visitor planned, it seems like it flies by. If my Army wives are my support system, non-military folks give me a change of pace (and topic!). It's even more fun when friends are both.
Tonight, I am choosing to thank my Army wives for their support. I am choosing to thank my family and friends back home for their open invitations and arms when I'm in their towns. I am choosing to feel connected to my husband. I am choosing to cuddle my children and watch a movie that makes us laugh.
I am choosing the behavior that makes this deployment more comfortable for everyone.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
A Long Week
When someone in G's brigade is wounded or killed, the entire FOB goes on a communications blackout. This means no phone calls, texts, instant messages, or e-mails can be sent or received. It's frustrating on both sides - the soldiers have no idea how their families are doing and the families at home wait with white knuckles until we get some kind of news.
Thankfully, no one from his unit has been a casualty so far. There have been injuries, but mostly due to the Taliban's accidental "luck". There is an infantry unit attached to G's brigade, though - and they are the ones primarily in harm's way. The latest blackout has lasted almost a week, which I've learned was actually two blackouts that happened to overlap a(n) hour/day.
It figures that G's birthday would fall right in the middle of this long blackout. He's so good about calling home every day that they aren't on blackout, but the poor guy had to spend his birthday in a country that hates him without his family. My heart breaks thinking about how awful he must have felt on his birthday.
Side note: I DID send a card with instructions on the SEALED envelope for him not to open it until his birthday. HE chose to open it the same day he got the package. Silly man...he's worse than a kid at Christmas.
Anyway, this is the longest we haven't heard from G since he left. It's hard on me, sure, but I have been trying to keep the kids busy so that it's not as hard on them.
I've been trying to have more "good" days than "bad" days (I'll explain my difference between the two in a future post). Today was a good day. I'm hopeful that tomorrow will be even better - Bubba has school, so Sissy and I will run some errands - returns and an iced mocha, for sure.
Thankfully, no one from his unit has been a casualty so far. There have been injuries, but mostly due to the Taliban's accidental "luck". There is an infantry unit attached to G's brigade, though - and they are the ones primarily in harm's way. The latest blackout has lasted almost a week, which I've learned was actually two blackouts that happened to overlap a(n) hour/day.
It figures that G's birthday would fall right in the middle of this long blackout. He's so good about calling home every day that they aren't on blackout, but the poor guy had to spend his birthday in a country that hates him without his family. My heart breaks thinking about how awful he must have felt on his birthday.
Side note: I DID send a card with instructions on the SEALED envelope for him not to open it until his birthday. HE chose to open it the same day he got the package. Silly man...he's worse than a kid at Christmas.
Anyway, this is the longest we haven't heard from G since he left. It's hard on me, sure, but I have been trying to keep the kids busy so that it's not as hard on them.
I've been trying to have more "good" days than "bad" days (I'll explain my difference between the two in a future post). Today was a good day. I'm hopeful that tomorrow will be even better - Bubba has school, so Sissy and I will run some errands - returns and an iced mocha, for sure.
Friday, October 8, 2010
MilSpouse Friday Fill-In
1.What is the longest road trip you’ve ever taken?
Longest distance-wise, I've taken a few trips from VA to FL. Longest time-wise would certainly tie between getting stuck in an ice storm going to my parent's home in OH when I was 8 months pregnant (hello full bladder) and the Disney trip (TN to FL) in June of 2009 - hottest damn vacation I've ever taken.
2.Do you collect anything? Tell us a bit about it.
Postcards. I don't even have to have been there. I love seeing places that I might not have thought to visit.
3.What is your favorite part about being an adult?
Realizing that your parents actually were right about a lot of the stuff you fought over when you were a teenager.
4.What song brings a tear to your eye?
Always, without a doubt: "I'm Already There" by Lonestar.
5.Describe your first plane ride (how old you were, where you were heading, etc).
I was in second grade (so...7?) and we went to Disney World on spring break. I was nervous to fly, but I remember being in absolute awe of how beautiful the clouds were as we soared above them. Everything seemed "cleaner" up there.
Longest distance-wise, I've taken a few trips from VA to FL. Longest time-wise would certainly tie between getting stuck in an ice storm going to my parent's home in OH when I was 8 months pregnant (hello full bladder) and the Disney trip (TN to FL) in June of 2009 - hottest damn vacation I've ever taken.
2.Do you collect anything? Tell us a bit about it.
Postcards. I don't even have to have been there. I love seeing places that I might not have thought to visit.
3.What is your favorite part about being an adult?
Realizing that your parents actually were right about a lot of the stuff you fought over when you were a teenager.
4.What song brings a tear to your eye?
Always, without a doubt: "I'm Already There" by Lonestar.
5.Describe your first plane ride (how old you were, where you were heading, etc).
I was in second grade (so...7?) and we went to Disney World on spring break. I was nervous to fly, but I remember being in absolute awe of how beautiful the clouds were as we soared above them. Everything seemed "cleaner" up there.
Monday, September 20, 2010
Poor Bubba.
He misses G so much and he just lacks the vocabulary and maturity to express it.
A few nights before W left, Brady had a complete fit over eating spaghetti. He ended up crying for Daddy and when I reminded him that Daddy was at work and helping people, he said "Daddy come back!" He's had issues when I drop him off at school, too. He is so excited to go to school and talks about it nonstop all morning and in the car on the way there. Once he's hung up his backpack and washed his hands, his lower lip starts trembling and he has a scared look in his eyes and he always says "Mommy, don't leave!" It breaks my heart that Bubba is having such a hard time with the deployment and George being away.
Two nights ago, G and I had planned to talk via webcam, but they ended up on a communication blackout. I had foolishly told Bubba that we were going to talk to Daddy that night, only to log on to a black screen. He cried and cried about wanting to talk to Daddy and no matter how many times I told him "Daddy lost his batteries," he was inconsolable. The only thing that was able to calm him down was the offer to make a video to send to Daddy instead so that we could still talk to him.
This evening, I put the kids to bed at the usual time. Once the kids were asleep, I took the trash out, broke down boxes, wheeled the trash can to the street and cleaned up the garage a bit. I have my own moments where I wish G was home! I crawled into bed around 11pm, hoping to read for a bit and around 11:15pm, Bubba came downstairs.
Bubba: Mommy?
Me: Yes, Bubba?
Bubba: I sleep with you?
Me: No, you need to sleep upstairs in your bed.
Bubba: It not working.
Me: You can't fall asleep?
Bubba: No, my bed not working.
Me: Go try to sleep, baby. I love you.
At 11:30pm, Bubba returned.
Bubba: Mommy, Daddy working on trucks and helping people?
Me: Yes, Bubba.
Bubba: Daddy miss me?
Me: Every minute, baby. He misses you so much.
Bubba: I sleep with you?
Me: No, you need to sleep upstairs in your bed. I love you.
Bubba: I love you, too, Mommy.
And again at 11:50pm.
Bubba: What Oliver doing? Oliver sleeping? (Oliver is our cat)
Me: Yes, Bubba.
Bubba: We go to library?
Me: In the morning, but only if you go to sleep, baby.
Bubba: I sleep with you?
Me: No, baby, you need to sleep upstairs in your bed.
Bubba: Ok. I love you, too, Mommy.
Me: I love you, too, Bubba.
I know that I'm lonely and that I miss G for many reasons, but I think the absolute hardest part of deployment is how much the kids miss him and feel his absence. G feels like he's missing so much while he's away, but I don't think any of us realized how much we depend on him - for dinner time, bath time, story time, adult time, bed time, and just his love, support, and affection overall. Deployments suck, but I truly believe that this is strengthening G and I's bond and our marriage every single day. The hardest transition for the kids (and I) is learning to do things without G and then reintegrating G into our lives when his deployment is over.
I found another blogger (a SAHD!) who blogged about this topic: http://armyspouseami.blogspot.com/
He has a way with words that I don't (haha), but he has a 7-part series on reintegration that I have been reading and re-reading lately. Great ideas to share with a spouse who might be deployed!
He misses G so much and he just lacks the vocabulary and maturity to express it.
A few nights before W left, Brady had a complete fit over eating spaghetti. He ended up crying for Daddy and when I reminded him that Daddy was at work and helping people, he said "Daddy come back!" He's had issues when I drop him off at school, too. He is so excited to go to school and talks about it nonstop all morning and in the car on the way there. Once he's hung up his backpack and washed his hands, his lower lip starts trembling and he has a scared look in his eyes and he always says "Mommy, don't leave!" It breaks my heart that Bubba is having such a hard time with the deployment and George being away.
Two nights ago, G and I had planned to talk via webcam, but they ended up on a communication blackout. I had foolishly told Bubba that we were going to talk to Daddy that night, only to log on to a black screen. He cried and cried about wanting to talk to Daddy and no matter how many times I told him "Daddy lost his batteries," he was inconsolable. The only thing that was able to calm him down was the offer to make a video to send to Daddy instead so that we could still talk to him.
This evening, I put the kids to bed at the usual time. Once the kids were asleep, I took the trash out, broke down boxes, wheeled the trash can to the street and cleaned up the garage a bit. I have my own moments where I wish G was home! I crawled into bed around 11pm, hoping to read for a bit and around 11:15pm, Bubba came downstairs.
Bubba: Mommy?
Me: Yes, Bubba?
Bubba: I sleep with you?
Me: No, you need to sleep upstairs in your bed.
Bubba: It not working.
Me: You can't fall asleep?
Bubba: No, my bed not working.
Me: Go try to sleep, baby. I love you.
At 11:30pm, Bubba returned.
Bubba: Mommy, Daddy working on trucks and helping people?
Me: Yes, Bubba.
Bubba: Daddy miss me?
Me: Every minute, baby. He misses you so much.
Bubba: I sleep with you?
Me: No, you need to sleep upstairs in your bed. I love you.
Bubba: I love you, too, Mommy.
And again at 11:50pm.
Bubba: What Oliver doing? Oliver sleeping? (Oliver is our cat)
Me: Yes, Bubba.
Bubba: We go to library?
Me: In the morning, but only if you go to sleep, baby.
Bubba: I sleep with you?
Me: No, baby, you need to sleep upstairs in your bed.
Bubba: Ok. I love you, too, Mommy.
Me: I love you, too, Bubba.
I know that I'm lonely and that I miss G for many reasons, but I think the absolute hardest part of deployment is how much the kids miss him and feel his absence. G feels like he's missing so much while he's away, but I don't think any of us realized how much we depend on him - for dinner time, bath time, story time, adult time, bed time, and just his love, support, and affection overall. Deployments suck, but I truly believe that this is strengthening G and I's bond and our marriage every single day. The hardest transition for the kids (and I) is learning to do things without G and then reintegrating G into our lives when his deployment is over.
I found another blogger (a SAHD!) who blogged about this topic: http://armyspouseami.blogspot.com/
He has a way with words that I don't (haha), but he has a 7-part series on reintegration that I have been reading and re-reading lately. Great ideas to share with a spouse who might be deployed!
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Bad Mommy Moment
This evening on the way home from a day at the zoo and dinner at a yummy local Mexican joint, El Bracero, Bubba was jabbering away in the backseat. All of a sudden he says "Oh no, a pider!" Titi (Bubba's word for Aunt W) and I turned our heads and sure enough, a white spider was crawling along the top of the window seaming on the inside of the truck. I ordinarily don't pull the car over for anything, but I know I would want someone to do it for me if I saw a spider!
Once I pulled over and parked, I grabbed a baby wipe (never a shortage around my kids) and started climbing over the seat to kill the spider. It starts jumping! Silly little albino spider starts jumping. Bubba starts squealing because he (like any normal person) doesn't want the spider to jump on him. I finally succeed in killing the spider and everyone lets out a collective sigh of relief. Whitney and I started laughing and she snorted which made us laugh harder.
"You f**king pug!" I said to her.
"A f**king pug! A f**king pug," parroted Bubba.
OMG. Crap. "Bubba, those are not nice words. Titi is a funny pug."
"Haha, Titi funny pug."
WHEW. Close one...
Once I pulled over and parked, I grabbed a baby wipe (never a shortage around my kids) and started climbing over the seat to kill the spider. It starts jumping! Silly little albino spider starts jumping. Bubba starts squealing because he (like any normal person) doesn't want the spider to jump on him. I finally succeed in killing the spider and everyone lets out a collective sigh of relief. Whitney and I started laughing and she snorted which made us laugh harder.
"You f**king pug!" I said to her.
"A f**king pug! A f**king pug," parroted Bubba.
OMG. Crap. "Bubba, those are not nice words. Titi is a funny pug."
"Haha, Titi funny pug."
WHEW. Close one...
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Rockin' the Big Brother Shoes
After a scorching 101 degree trip to the zoo with M and her kids, A (2) and L (11 months), Bubba turned into Mommy's hero. "A" had a huge problem with wearing his monkey leash, but when Bubba put his on this morning, he showed A exactly how to behave - walked right next to Mommy and Sissy with his hand on the stroller. Perfect behavior. Towards the end of our field day both A and Sissy had done a LOT of walking for their little legs and feet and were both tired. On the way over to the elephants, L and Sissy passed out in their strollers. Bubba only kept moving because he wanted to see the elephants so badly and A had to be coaxed all the way there. When A refused to walk back to the giraffes, M had to carry him - leaving us a set of hands short for getting to the car. Bubba stepped up like a little man and pushed sleeping Sissy all the way to the car while I pushed sleeping L.
Bubba made me so proud today. He's only three and a half, but he acted so much older and knew not to say no or pout on the way to the car. We needed help, treated him like a big boy and he rewarded us with excellence. He is such a fantastic big brother when it counts. I told Bubba that Daddy would be VERY proud of him.
Bubba made me so proud today. He's only three and a half, but he acted so much older and knew not to say no or pout on the way to the car. We needed help, treated him like a big boy and he rewarded us with excellence. He is such a fantastic big brother when it counts. I told Bubba that Daddy would be VERY proud of him.
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